Shimmy's Blog

If you haven't visited Shimmy's Blog, you should.

Here tis: http://shimmykat.blogspot.com/

When I visit, I feel my brain and my constructed views of reality gently melting, but it's sorta nice. Rather the way Salvador Dali said it's a miracle we don't dissolve when we wash ourselves with soap in the shower...and you know the way he said it meant he was sort of disappointed we don't dissolve that way.

Well, Shimmy, who is the smartest politicat (Shimmy is really a cat) on the web, does these strange post-everything posts where a movie review is actually a political lament or it changes again midstream and becomes a poem...things don't stay in their proper places in the ShimmyKat Universe...Rhoda and Mary discuss the semiotics of torture and Gertrude Stein rebuts and rebukes the Vatican...

Shimmy wants us to know we are in the Floating World...and that all these facts and things we consider realities are actually unmoored and floating right this second...and that the chair you are sitting on right now is actually a war in the next century...don't get too comfortable...although Shimmy (in her photographs) looks rather comfortable usually...

But then Cats sort of got that Floating thing down....that's the trick as to why they survive all those falls from great heights...here's how they do it...

HOW CATS SURVIVE FALLING FROM GREAT HEIGHTS (as revealed to me in strictest confidence by a cat who has fallen from the 19th floor, the 24th floor and the 36th floor and lived to tell the "tail.")

HOW TO SURVIVE A FALL FROM A VERY GREAT HEIGHT (THE TAO DE FALLINGCAT)

1. First, do not allow yourself to think that you are falling. This is a disastrous move and will almost certainly result in grave injury or death. I repeat: You are NOT falling. You are actually floating.

2. Now that you have come to the realization you are floating, enjoy the sensations. Feel the way the air caresses your whiskers (what? you don't have them? ay de mi!) and the way it gently ruffles your fur (okay, hair or whatever you do have). Notice how all the trees, buildings, clouds you see are gently moving. You are moving too! You are floating. Everything is.

3. Now, gently orient yourself so that your paws (feet whatever!) are not pointing to the clouds. Use your tail to help effectuate this move. (What? You don't have one? Okay use your mental tail).

4. This step is most important. Compose your face so that you appear as calm as the Buddha. Imagine that your paws and legs are made of a wonderful rubbery substance that enjoys bouncing. Wait for it. Wait for it. When you see the tops of the trees go past avoid the urge to meow. One does not meow while floating. Language detracts from true experience. The poets don't understand that yet.

5. NOW...TOUCH EARTH...VISUALIZE A WHITE FEATHER LANDING ON A PILLOW AS THIS HAPPENS...no words...just softness...softness....

6. You have landed softly. You are now free to move about the earth. Always pause and sit a few seconds where you landed...lick your paw and groom yourself for the benefit of any onlookers. This shows them the experience was nothing, just a little floating.

7. Walk with that swishy sashay to your hindquarters that lets the humans watching you know, Yeah, this is planet earth, not bad...but I'm only visiting here.