Ron Padgett on Ebay

Yesterday, I was watching the close of an auction I was invested in on EBAY. Being a big lover of all things New York School, I was particularly keen on this set of four postcards from the late 1960s and early 1970s mailed to Ted Berrigan from Joe Brainard and Ron Padgett. Joe's was mailed from Paris and Ron had sent two attractive quirky ones. There was a fourth with no return address but a cheerful comic added that made one ask "Brainard?" They were personal, full of character, and it appeared one had been somewhat worked (by Joe?)...colorful manifestations of the spirits who had sent them in the ardor of real friendship.

And they were being offered at a ridiculously low price and NO RESERVE as we sellers shout on EBAY to get your attention.

When I got in, the things were at a ridiculous 35 dollars. Long story short, I proxied my bid up the first time around 120 but knew I'd be back.

And I was at close of auction. I was the high bidder when it went down to the last fifteen minutes on the clock. There had been predatory nibbles edging my bid up but I was still poised to swoop for 87 dollars, which would of course have been a coup. That's when I saw an Ebay moniker which might have indicated it was Ron Padgett on there in the bidding history.

It didn't mean it had to be the real article, obviously. There was a Ted Berrigan, for instance, also bidding. So it didn't necessarily mean anything other than someone playing dress up.

But I always try to be chivalrous in these circumstances, so I wrote this moniker...


Dear ________,

Hi, Is this really Ron Padgett? If so, I will refrain from upping my bid although I did proxy it. Because obviously you should have rights to these before anyone...

If you are someone just assuming Mr. Padgett's identity, please don't lie...

thanks..

the current high bidder



Note my beautiful naivete there. Somebody could have worked me bad.

If they came back unconvincingly I was going to give them a quick French lit test of one question.

I knew Ron would ace it, but doubted an imposter could.

I would have picked something obscure and evil. :-)

Boris Vian. Something like that.

As I didn't hear back from this (possibly Ron Padgett) person--they were probably watching the auction and not their Ebay mailbox--I then proceeded to go at it furiously during the last few minutes as my proxy was exceeded. I kept working at it and was up to 182 or 184 dollars (I forget) as the last few seconds elapsed.

But I lost.

In the last two seconds. Err...second and a fraction.

It was my NEMESIS, the evil CHIP. Chip and I almost always come up against each other on New York School items, and he always wins as he has endless funds to expend. It didn't matter that I stopped at 184 dollars. I could have gone 250 and Chip would have gone 251. Probably Chip would have gone 400. He is relentless.

I have asked one of our mutual favorite sellers (who sells this stuff at a STEAL) if I could kill Chip, but he said no. He said Chip seems like a nice guy.

I would think Chip is a nice guy too if he dropped several hundred dollars every couple days in my online auctions.

When Chip doesn't want a choice item, I usually make out like a bandit.

If I ever have an item I can't live without, Chip will lose. Make no mistake about that. I have a credit card too and I know how to use it. But I'm not that dogged. I try not to be too selfish about my literary loves.

Anway, the next day I got this email. It's sort of moot to even answer it. Ron, sorry you didn't win these. But if it's the info you want, Chip's your man.

I'm sure he'll be happy to comply as I can assure you he idolizes you. His fingers will stutter when they type a response and you will get any info you need.

I was pleased to spend a few moments with one of America's most original writers and translators, even if it was only to share some time with him getting our asses whooped by the Terminator of New York Schooliana on EBAY.

The next day (today) I received this note from classy Ron...


Dear __________,
Yes, I'm the actual real Ron Padgett, and I appreciate your courtesy. I don't really need the cards, but the contents of the cards might be useful, as I am also the executor of the estate of Joe Brainard, which, among other things, involves compling an archive. I'd be happy to pay your photocopying and postage expenses. My e-mail address is __________@aol.com. Thanks again.
Best wishes,
RP

(I don't think he'd mind me posting this here as it's nothing personal or private and I edited out pesonal info. Hope not anyway)

It made me realize how lucky Joe is to have a friend of this sort, and made me realize why JOE is such a great book.

But I better go now, because i'm getting a little (Linda Richman voice) VERKLEMPT!