Letters to and from an Imaginary Countess

Esteemed Collaborator,

Things are amiss at Court, and we are at great risk of compromising centuries of planning.

The most troublous breaches that have been brought to my attention so far include the following--

Lizabeta was seen emerging from a mirror in the hallway outside the Salon Sans Gender carrying a Dodo in her arms.

My paramour S______ stumbled upon several pieces of my correspondence with Vlad Tepes.

A functionary in the Department of Temporal Affairs stumbled upon a book which had an unambiguous chronology and Timeline within it.

Several anachronisms were nearly sussed out. I don't need to tell you the sort of Danger we are flirting with in this regard.

Our Margravine A______ assures me this individual has been "contained." He was running, book in hand, towards the Imperial Mausoleum itself when he was intercepted. Can you imagine?

I do not know whether the creature was vaporized or chronologically recycled, nor do I really care.

Our Dear Margravine told me she is certain the War is still winnable, but that we must enlist Additional Forces.

The Anachronists are working very diligently as I write you this, and Our Margravine is sifting the Akashic Records and believes she has begun to crack several of the most important codes which will allow us the Victory we have been denied so long.

We must be more careful. Baron V_____ is such an asshole. Did you hear about the controversy at Court with his art collection? The creature had the audacity to bring part of his art collection with him on The Mission.

I nearly shat myself when I walked through the Solar Chamber of the Winter Hermitage yesterday and saw several Ladies chattering like sparrows standing about a Jeff Koons sculpture! It was Michael Jackson and Bubbles. In the middle of the Chamber. Much discussed, I assure you.

Our Margravine said that she wasn't overly concerned. But he will be trouble. Mark my words.

Gather your creatures and your wits about you. The War is Winnable.

Your Comrade,


M_____________