The hills had eyes.
It goes like this (WARNING MULTIPLE SPOILER ALERT): Scream. Pain. Mutant Baby Plop. Head Trauma. Total Body Immersion in Shit. Bacterial Death. Mayhem. Death. More Screaming. Attempted Rape. Bloody automatic gunfire death. Accidental Death. Evisceration. Wiley Coyote Death by Canyon Fall. Suicide by Gun to Head Followed by Wiley Coyote Death by Canyon Fall. Evisceration revisited. Impalement. Head Trauma. Mayhem (different limb). Bloody automatic gunfire death. Wiley Coyote Death by Canyon Fall Revisited. Repeated Mutant Rape (by Mutant). Death by Blood Loss. Death by Dynamite and Sarcasm. More Mutant Rape (by Mutant). Everisceration Redux. Revenge Fuck a Trois Reverse Mutant Rape (of Mutant, by Humans). Screaming. Wailing. Gnashing of teeth. Head Canteloupe Smash. Death by Bayonet and Multiple Other Objects. Promise of Threequel.
I think I got some of the order wrong and have forgotten some of the indignities committed against the human body and the mutant body.
Subject Matter: Mutants
Literary Influence: Mutants
Possible Redeeming Spiritual Value: Mutants
Weird Erotic Thrills That Might Occur Accidentally: Mutants
Cinematography: Mutants
Best Original Screenplay: Mutants
Best Boy: Mutants
Chance for a Paume D'Or: Very Good
Chance for an Oscar: If mutants vote.
Likelihood of threequel: Mutants Ka-Ching.
Why did I watch this: Mutants.
Subtle political commentary on U.S. abuse of military might: Mutants
Set Decoration: Mutants
People to Whom You Will Admit You Watched This: No one.
Quality of Credible Linguistic Deformation of Mutant Language in Sequel in Comparison to First Mutant Movie: Very poor.
Could you write better "Mutant Language": Yes.
Does it matter if you are ten years old?: No.
Was this better than a truck rally?: Probably.
Was this better than reading Robert Pinsky?: Tie.
Was this better than being asleep: No.
What would you tell people about this movie: Mutants
Did the director show that he had any particular skill, or that he had a unique vision that might be carried over to a different genre: Mutants.
What are you hungry for right now: Dippin Dots.
What will it taste like: Mutants
If this movie were a song what song would it be: "Gravity keep the hell away from me."
Should John Mayer see this movie: He will say something cryptic in Japanese if he does.
Are you really going to buy Dippin Dots: Hell no.
What is the best thing about Dippin Dots: Three things: 1) They don't look like real food. 2)They look like something you eat in space. 3) They live in a machine in the middle of the mall.
Is is sad that the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up: Yes, extremely.
What will redeem humanity someday: Mutants.
Are you serious?: Yes.
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Have you seen www.kids-in-mind.com? Forget the intent or whatever of the website, it's brilliant in terms of film redaction. Here's the take on Hills Have Eyes 1:
SEX/NUDITY 6 - A mutant man licks a woman's chest and suckles at her breast while holding a gun to her infant.
► A mutant man tries to rape a young woman (it does not appear that he is successful). A mutant man climbs on top of a young woman and holds his hand over her mouth (it does not appear that anything sexual occurs). A mutant man caresses a young woman's face (she is sleeping), and he breathes erratically.
► A man admires a young woman sunbathing (she is wearing her bra and pants rolled up to the knee).
► A husband and wife kiss.
► A young man asks his mother what "Freud would think about your obsession with snakes."
VIOLENCE/GORE 10 - A man is chained to a large rock wall, flames burst up around him, he screams, people run to him, and he is engulfed in flames; one person sprays him with an extinguisher, the man flails and screams, and then stops screaming and we see his charred skin.
► A man blows his head off with a shotgun (we see the bloody remains, with his head completely missing). A man finds a charred body with a flag sticking out of its head. A woman is shot in the stomach (we see the very bloody wound). A dog bites the throat of a mutant man (we see blood gushing from the open wound). A mutant person's arm is shot off (we see the dismembered arm lying on the ground and blood glistens on it).
► A charred body is poked in the head with a stick and dragged along the ground. A blood-covered man crawls toward several people in a desert pleading for help.
► A man is struck in the head with a pick ax, another is hit in the back (and out the chest), lifted into the air and slammed into a rock wall, and we then see four bodies (with blood on their clothing) chained by the feet to the back of a truck and dragged along.
► A man stabs a mutant man through the foot with a screwdriver, runs him through the back of the head and neck with a stick, then hits him in the head with a pick ax (blood spurts and gushes from every wound).
► A mutant breaks through a wall, grabs a man around the throat and holds him in the air: the man gasps, the mutant swings an ax at him, and the man stabs the mutant through the stomach with the sharpened handle of a baseball bat; the mutant pulls the wood out of his stomach, hits the man in the head and shoves him through a wall, throws him through a window, and then chops off a couple of his fingers with an ax (we see the bloody fingers bend and separate).
► A young man searches for a dog, he hears the dog whimper and cry, follows a blood trail and finds the dog very bloody and gutted (it has been cut from the throat and down the belly, and it appears that its organs have been removed).
► A man hits a mutant man in the head with an ax, then hits him in the back with the ax, and then hits him in the eye with the pointed part of the ax (blood spurts and pours from wounds). A man beats a mutant man with the butt of his gun several times, and then shoots him twice.
► A young man hears slurping and crunching and finds a mutant man tearing at and eating from a dead body. A mutant man is stabbed in the leg by a woman, and he shoots her in the head (we see her lying in a pool of blood later). A seemingly dead person gasps and twitches then lies still again.
► A fatally wounded mutant man reaches for a young man who comes near him, and a young woman stabs the mutant in the head with an ax. A mutant man opens the door of a trailer and it explodes (we see the bloody mutant later with a large piece of wood through his chest, as he gurgles and moans).
► A mutant man hits another mutant man in the head with a gun, then begins attacking a woman who hits him with a pillow, and he hits her with a pillow, head-butts her (her face is bloody) and tries to pry her legs apart.
► A mutant man drags a body along the ground (we see the body's bloody feet). A mutant man walks through a room where bloody body parts and carcasses hang from hooks. A man opens a box that contains a severed bloody ear. A young man and a young woman carry two dead bodies to a car (we see the bodies' bloody wounds).
► A man gets into a car and tries to start it, but someone in the back seat slams the man's head against the window several times until we hear a crack and blood spurts on the window; we then see the man (in and out of consciousness) being wheeled on a cart and he is soaked with blood.
► A man wakes up (with a very bloody head wound) in a non-working chest freezer with many bloody severed body parts, and he pounds on the door repeatedly until he is able to break the door open and escape.
► A mutant man jumps on a man, and they fight: one is hit in the face with metal tines, one is head-butted, and one is slammed into the ground several times and lies very bloody and unconscious.
► A mutant man licks a woman's chest and suckles at her breast while holding a gun to her infant. A mutant man climbs on top of a young woman and holds his hand over her mouth (it does not appear that anything sexual occurs). Another mutant man tries to rape a young woman (it does not appear that he is successful).
► We hear a dog attacking a mutant man (the man screams, as we hear growling, snarling and tearing). A mutant man swings a pick ax at a man several times, the man runs, a dog attacks the mutant man and bites his arm, the mutant man punches the dog several times, and then flings it across the room (we hear the dog whimper but we see it OK later).
► A mutant man pulls the head off a live bird then drinks its blood. A mutant man eats from a dog's severed leg and we see blood dripping.
► A mutant man chases a young man, he throws an ax at him (he does not hit him), the young man hides in a trailer, and the mutant man breaks a window and tries to grab a young woman inside.
► We see several shots in quick succession of malformed babies and genetic mutations presumably from exposure to radiation; one mutant has two faces, one has feet with only two toes, and one has malformed hands. Mutant people have malformed faces and bodies, one man has his head in a metal framework, and one man has an enlarged head and a twisted body. We see a bloody piece of something on the ground near a vulture. A man has a large scar on his neck.
► A mutant girl jumps on a mutant man and they both fall over a cliff (we see their twisted bodies on the ground below). A man is hit in the head by something and falls unconscious.
► A mutant man raises a cleaver, pulls a blanket back preparing to kill a baby that he thinks is underneath the blanket, and he finds a piglet instead.
► A man and a dog walk through a dark mineshaft and see blood on the ground, and we hear someone running behind them. A young man runs through a rocky area and falls into a large hole, and we see him unconscious on the ground -- there is blood near his head. A woman hits a mutant man in the head with a pan, and he holds a gun to her infant.
► Metal spikes pop up on a road, a car pulling a trailer runs over the spikes, the tires blow out, and the car slams into a boulder (no one is injured). A man hides under a table, and a mutant man breaks the table apart with an ax.
► A man panics when he hears his infant crying over a walky-talky. A man with a gun walks around a gas station and into a dark mineshaft looking for someone (we hear someone breathing and it is suggested that someone is watching him).
► A man finds many abandoned cars and we see that one has a smear of blood on the door and handle. A large black bird flies out of an abandoned car and startles a man that's looking around. Large black birds squeak aggressively in a few scenes.
► A young man urinates in an outhouse, flies buzz around him, and he sees someone looking in at him from the outside; he is startled and yells.
► A mutant man tells another mutant man to "kill the baby." We see newsreel-type footage of nuclear bomb blasts. We see several commemorative markings in memory of dead miners in a mineshaft. We see several newspaper articles about families disappearing in a desert.
PROFANITY 6 - 18 F-words and its derivatives, 1 obscene hand gesture, 6 scatological terms, 3 anatomical terms, 15 mild obscenities, 1 religious profanity, 7 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]
SUBSTANCE USE - People talk about smoking marijuana. A man drinks alcohol from a bottle. A man smokes a cigarette in several scenes and a man smokes a cigar.
DISCUSSION TOPICS - Mutations, nuclear testing, radioactivity, genetic effects of radiation, DNS, family, gun control, death of parents.
MESSAGE - Stay on the main roads.
Hi...LOL....thanks for this.
I had never heard of it.
This is righteous, redonkulous stuff.
Your profile is killer good too.
And you're a fellow Capricorn.
I was told recently we age backwards.
So you are probably still a very old man (at 33).
I am becoming a very young one since I am now fully embarked on my forties.
I can't wait for the teens in my dotage.
I like the -K thing.
Maybe you are Kafka antimatter?
xo
And that is the most beautiful found poetry I've seen in ages.
What you posted.
Why do we bother being poets.
Sites like that are the New American Poetry.
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