suicide

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" thinks a sparrow flying through the yard of a serial killer who will never be caught.

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" think the poets and novelists in New York City.

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" think narwhals swimming towards the North Pole with sexy ideas of narwhaleity in their heads.

And the narwhals also think, "Why do they insist on calling it a tusk when it's really a tooth? It's a tooth, godammit!"

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" think two ring-tailed lemurs fucking high in a tree in Madagascar from which they can just see a Hilton hotel they are both looking at as they fuck.

The Hilton went up faster than the time it takes to raise a baby lemur to lemur survival-proficiency.

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" thinks the tomato who fell out of the tomato multi-pack at the all-night grocery store and was just saved exploding by landing on the lower, shelf-like edge of the tilted display unit they are contained in.

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" thinks the virus which gives people the bubonic plague, just hanging out now, keeping a low profile. In a government lab.

"NOW! THE TIME IS NOW!" says the earthworm making love to itself and thinking of Amanda Lepore.

A few seconds pass.

Suddenly, the narwhal thinks "I cannot process this ocean anymore." The thought surprises him, completely blindsides him, as he never expected to think this thought.

He decides that instant to leave his mate's side and swims superfast towards an Orca, who turns and carefully avoiding the tooth (which the Orca also thinks is a tusk) bites half of the narwhal's head off.

"ALRIGHT!" thinks the Orca as he begins to enjoy narwhal proteins and narwhal fat.

The narwhal's mate is screaming in her head: "WHYYYYYYY?!"

But then she thinks orcaorcaorcaorcafuckinORCA! and continues swimming fast towards the North pole thinking only, ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean....

The tomato thinks "fucking shelf" and embraces gravity.

His suicide is broadcast over the all night grocery store's loudspeakers.

Only his eulogy sounds like this: "CLEAN UP IN AISLE FOURTEEN, CLEAN UP IN AISLE FOURTEEN, PLEASE...."

The poets and novelists in New York City go into a bar and think about language.

In a bar. They think about language.

The two ring-tailed lemurs commit suicide together. He looks into her eyes and without words asks her, "Do you want to do this?" And her look back says, "Yes! Oh hell to the yes!"

And down they fling themselves, out of nature.

They both think "FUCK YOU NATURE!" as their heads splatter against a Hummer's roof.

The sparrow deliberately flies into a giant fan-unit in the WAL-MART gardening department and the blood spatters all over the face and blue smock of a woman named Wanda who has just begun to grow lung tumors in a lung tumor garden, but has no idea.

She screams and laughs at the same time as the blood of the suicidal sparrow spatters her like maraschino cherries ground up on HIGH in a quality blender.

Wanda suddenly says in her head, out loud in her head: Some planets are not pro-consciousness...

She thinks this thought slow and really tastes it, as though it were thought-taffy.

It is WAL-MART satori.

The virus and the earthworm decide to live.

They are rather tired of all the complaining.