Things in Which Nature Outdid Itself...

This is sort of like one of those songs you love to hate albums.


       NATURE'S MOST ANNOYING CREATIONS (partial list)

1. Spiders.

2. Sharks.

3. Disease.

4. People who say "irregardless."

5. People who correct people who say "irregardless."

6. The person who invented the word "celebutante."

7. Natural disasters.

8. People who are "bicurious."

9. Poop. Just the concept of it. Why can't we eat something that gets entirely used up. Why is nature so keen on shit?

10. Grizzly bears/Polar Bears/Pandas Don't let the ad campaign fool you about pandas; they have good p.r. people...they're killers. You should see them when they turn that Panda Cam off.

11. Death. There has got to be a better way than this to finish things.

12. Axl Rose.

13. Desire.

14. The fermentation process------>alcohol--------->prison term.

15. Pain. I know it's to warn the organism. But what's the point if you cannot do anything about it? I mean for crissakes even bowling alleys come with a RESET button. Why doesn't the human body?


Nature, are you taking notes? Thanks.