Let's start with this....
To Lucasta, going to the Wars
TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.
True, a new mistress now I chase, 5
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.
Yet this inconstancy is such
As thou too shalt adore; 10
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.
MODERN TRANSLATION...
Hey Lucy, I'm Going out for a Little While
Don't bitch.
"I spent all day with you!"
You know it can get a little
boring around here. I need some air.
Ohmmigod, it's only a bar.
I play that trivia game with the guys!
It's not like that..."who I love more"...
Gets out my aggression. I play. It's better than Prozac!
You'll be happier in the long run.
We won't fight as much.
(If she fucking knew it was a gay bar!...)
I don't really like women.
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