Words Which Are Frontin' in the English Language

The word crimson has always annoyed me. Crimson sounds like the word red getting its period. You know the old joke about Crimson Tide, right? Oh you're young. You don't. I don't believe I have ever used crimson in any piece of writing in this lifetime. Jism is actually a very respectable word in comparison. Or any of its variations: jissom, jizz, jizm, etc. Crimson Jism would actually be a good, tasteless name for a band. Like blood in the cum. Did you know it's sometimes okay to have blood in your cum. I don't but I read that somewhere. But blood in your urine is bad. Blood in your urine means you might be dying. Maybe not. But get it checked fast. Jism could redeem crimson. Crimson was born arty and will die arty. King Crimson is arty pop and not really something you would tell other people you listen to. "What was I doing when you called? Why I was just listening to King Crimson actually. I love "Lark's Tongue in Aspic." Dude, that's so gay. And I don't mean gay. I mean the other kind of gay, the South Park kind of gay. Actually, I don't think any writer I truly respect has ever used this word in anything they've ever written. Let it stay in "Crimson and Clover" where it belongs. I even hate that song. And Joan Jett's cover of it is horrible too. I could be mistaken. But I don't think so. Okay, I could understand a writer using it in a sarcastic way or using it to make fun of the word itself. Because then the writer would show he or she has sprachgefuhl, that essential ear inside the ear attuned to microtones that lets you know when a word is like so uncool. I bet even Wallace Stevens stayed away from crimson even though it has his name written all over it, and it's typical of his usual artfag excesses when he gets in that mood or mode. I don't have a Stevens Concordance to check this. Oh wait. I forgot but Google remembered: "...fluctuating between sun and moon, A sally into gold and crimson forms(.)" Of course he would. And then there was the Harvard Crimson. The word was more respectable in those days because people were faker then. It's the same situation in French where the word is even uglier, cramoisi. The only example I can think of in French literature where that is used would be Victor Hugo in his terrible play Hernani. He did use it there. I remember it distinctly but not what it was describing. Maybe a set of gay curtains or something.

And this just proves my point. Completely.