A Birthday Book of Serial Killers (after Gertrude Stein)

January the first is anything. Anything new. Leonard John Fraser. Four to him in Queensland. But his heart gave out the first.

His heart gave out as the new.

January two. Ian Brady come out of that womb and do. The moors are a calling not a calling. And Myra whatever too.

Morrissey be born and sing this.

Melismatically to me.

Murl Daniels sat in a chair January the third. The chair was juicy. And so ever was Murl ever so soon after.

Ever so after at twenty-four to leave by the chair. Your cornfield did this to you.

Bedrods and vaginas are very January fourth, January the fourth. A visit from Theodore. Bundy liked his women very semen dead. Very dead as friendly. Dear haste was in Ted.

Aileen Wuornos they are looking for you. A manhunt on the fifth to the fifth is not aptly named is it. I don't like johns either. Or jacks.

Good for a gender. But not good for a gander? Make serials fair. You were fair, Aileen. Only fair.

The sixth of January Thomas George Svekla smile for the camera. Oh prostitutes again. A cliche will be a cliche for some time.

Joe Ball the seventh is born to look like James Joyce. Without the eye patch. To bootleg and a boot is indeed a leg up or in. But the alligators. Joe fed alligators to people and eyes yes vice versa. Herpetological. A Valentine.

January the eighth and what you say no murder no murder to say. This is a joke. Surely a joke. Play. Dig deeper.

The ninth of January currently. Currently police say. Ladies the Daytona Killer is clean, crisp and intimately well-lit. Check your husband and your boyfriend.

Both.

And ten now. January the tenth and an orange parka is a very bad idea. Richard Chase an orange parka is a very bad idea of an idea. Busted dick in orange.

The eleventh of january is very eleventhish. Efren Saldivar angel of death. Nurses people with Parvulon. Paralytic. We don't get it.

Caryn Campbell on the twelfth of January went to get what Caryn had got but forgot. A magazine she said. Forgot to get. Between the lobby and her hotel a maybe place of saying place of staying. A room met Ted. Who loved dear dead ones. And got.

Ted you are a period case. Periodontal check ups don't mean this semen.

January the thirteen dear Jeffrey says loony. Says loony to court me. Court me loony please. I ate them like toffee.

Christian G. on Lycos.de. of Germany the fourteenth of January greets in court. Confesses to two. Two he chatted are very sorry dead but he doesn't like serial.

He is sorry but not serial. Take it back now.

The fifteenth of the first was a very bad Witchita day. Oteri family gone away for having known and not known BTK. Venetian blinds have cords for a reason but not that reason to away. Dennis is tied and is tied to be fit. Inside a dark day.

A Rader was spewer. He spewed until. Kill Dennis now to reach a cord.

Albert Fish we are having today. The sixteenth of January a chair away. From the time of his life. Albert liked such a thing to like so such. To have a little girl doesn't mean as much dear Albert. But he embraced the chair. Who lit cotton balls on fire in his rectum. He didn't complain much.

The seventeenth is very colorful. Tsutomu Miyazaki you look like Mike Myers. Born with hands fused to your wrists, children mocked you. Called you pterodactyl boy and stepped on your head. Japanese Dracula with a Mike Myers face. Will drinking blood avenge the playground?

Then we are all Mike Myers. So say I all.

Death, they say, is a sentence. You heard it on the seventeenth of two thousand and six counters. Please mind the gap.

HOW TO BE A SERIAL KILLER is on FACEBOOK. It has many friends. On the eighteenth of January, somebody said something to it. And it responded.

Gerald Stano left a teen he found hitchhiking in Port Orange in a drainage ditch. And who does not put their toys back where they found them or they founder? He went roller skating afterwards. She stewed in Titusville. He was a choker and did not give them. Some men are not romantic but are tools.

This ends the nineteenth of January the ne'er-do-well month.

January the twentieth and we sing Happy Birthday, Joel Rifkin, Happy Birthday. You killed seventeen prostitutes at least. Make the missing more missing. This is a troubling American theme.

Is it the National Anthem?

On the twenty-first Jessica Alba says she will turn serial killer to shake off her sexy image. Jessica, this is America. Are you even listening, dear?

Twenty-second of the twentieth the second seconds this motion. The proceedings are going to tell us to say soon from this day whether Ed Gein is insane. Or merely fashion victim.

On the twenty-third of January of nineteen eighty-nine, Ted B. says he did it all for the nookie. It was pornography. Made me open those skulls. I thought naked could be more naked still. I like to lie when I leave a room.

Your death makes me hungry for a Sizzler steakhouse.

January the twenty-fourth you are welcome to a chair, Ted Bundy, please take your seat. You are welcome to your afterlife.

Very welcome to your afterlife.

January five after the twentieth dismembers itself and its work. As Edmund Kemper loved hitchhikers. Santa Cruz he thought murder was a drive-through restaurant. I do believe nature is malnourished.

Oh, my sweet Adelaide! The twenty-sixth Ivan Milat gives the finger to the Court. He severed it and put it in an envelope like thought. The judge laughed and said you couldn't count to ten anyway, Poor Ivan. How will you ever escape to kill again. Do you miss the backpackers of Belango?

You are sorry you lost Onions, aren't you?

You swallowed razor blades like a Valentine to escape before. The windows won't open. You may have to turn nostalgist. Poor Ivan. The time for suicide is long past. We gave you a television and a toasted sandwich maker.

Is it not enough to see yourself on telly?

You want to see yourself on a scream not a screen.

Chimpanzees are in awe of this evolution.

Ding dong says the twenty-seventh. Sometimes vampires come in the front door saying oh dear my heart. Dear David, dear Evelyn, nature is very sorry in this state for your state. Very sorry for a vampire who is being a dick. Richard Chase rabbits and drink the blood. You fear your heart disintegrates. Novel psychosis. Your penis only works this way.

This is all so very natural. I fear.

On the twenty-eighth it is proclaimed the Pacific Northwest of America is Serial Killer Central. Plan your vacations now for this hotspot. The thrill of a lifetime.

Sometimes it's nice to just disappear. This is the brochure.

Oh twenty-ninth of the month is missing mostly black jurors for Jeffrey Dahmer. Only one. This is not a well-stocked fridge. Just ones claim just one is wrong.

January likes thirty as thirty is to January a thrift of saying not saving. Son of Sam born to David Berkowitz. Hunting in Queens finds Freund and Diel but doesn't split the bullets evenly yet evenly. Talking dogs are very American.

Dogs advising murder. And biblical yes.

The end of the beginning finds a poet. BTK writes to Wichita Eagle-Beacon verses on Vian, a fine viand. He memorializes the way Tennyson do. Dennis, we have had about enough. Enough of you.

Enough of these versicles. You are a civil servant.

So ends January with a poet. A poet who eulogizes himself. The end of the beginning is always so. Self-serving. I find it isn't really you. But someone behind.

You haven't a clue.