Letters to and from an Imaginary Countess 9

FROM THE DESK OF THE MARGRAVINE A__________:

I TRUST THIS VIRTUAL LETTER WILL MANIFEST NEOCORTICALLY-CORRECT AND THAT ALL RECIPIENTS WILL VIRTUAL-SIGN PSYCHOKINETICALLY TO CONFIRM RECEIPT.

UNIFIED FRONT: WE ARE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS, BUT THE ENEMY IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS, AND HAS MADE SOME INCURSIONS INTO OUR FORCES. THE AKASHICS AND THE ANACHRONISTS HAVE INTERCEPTED MORE USEFUL CODES AND COMMUNICATIONS. THE ENEMY IS CURRENTLY USING THE UNICORN AS A SHIBBOLETH. FORWARD ANY SUSPICIONS OF SHIBBOLETH ACTIVITY OR INTERLOPERS TO THE AKASHICS AND THE ANACHRONISTS IMMEDIATELY. I CANNOT STRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS ENOUGH. I SOUND LIKE A FUCKING CORPORATE LUNATIC, I REALIZE. I HATE THE HIERARCHICAL AS MUCH AS ALL OF YOU DO, BUT WAR IS HIERARCHICAL. THEY STARTED IT, WE MUST FINISH IT, AND WE MUST ADOPT THE WILES OF THE ENEMY IF WE ARE TO EVER RECLAIM TIME AND SPACE.

A CERTAIN COMRADE OF OURS APPARENTLY THOUGHT IT FUNNY TO TELEPORT THE ARTWORK OF JEFF KOONS, SALVADOR DALI, ANDY WARHOL AND OTHER PHALLICIST ASSHOLE ARTISTS BACK SEVERAL CENTURIES IN TIME WITHOUT CLEARING THIS WITH THE ANACHRONISTS. I ENCOUNTERED A VERY CUNTY HANS BELLMER SCULPTURE IN A ROOM WHERE SEVERAL OBOEISTS WERE PRACTICING ALBINONI. SOUP CAN PAINTINGS WERE SPOTTED IN NUMEROUS MUCH-FREQUENTED PLACES ABOUT TOWN. THIS SAME COMRADE WAS ALSO SEEN IMPERSONATING MARTIN KIPPENBERGER IN A PROMINENT SQUARE ON FRIDAY, STANDING THERE WITH ONE ARM ON HIS HIPS, CROWS PERCHED UPON HIM AND ABOUT HIS FEET, WITH A LIVING CROW PERCHED UPON HIS HEAD.

THIS BEGAN MORE TALK OF WITCHCRAFT AND THE GLAMOUR. ALL ABOUT TOWN.

THIS WILL STOP IMMEDIATELY. I TRIED SERIOUS REMONSTRATION WITH LORD BURROUGHS TO KEEP HIS OFFICE FROM VAPORIZING OR CHRONOLOGICALLY RECYCLING THIS INDIVIDUAL BUT THE OFFENDER IS NOW IN THE THIRD CENTURY B.C. KINDLY REMOVE HIM FROM YOUR CONTACT LIST AND VIRTUAL MAIL.

ANYBODY FOUND TRIFLING WITH ARTIFACTS IN THIS MANNER WILL BE RETEMPORALIZED. NO ARGUMENTS, NO EXCEPTIONS.

THE ANACHRONISTS HAVE MADE CORRECTIONS IN THE TIME-WEAVE AND THESE ARTISTIC OBJECTS WILL BE ALLOWED TO REMAIN. PLEASE REFER TO "MICHAEL JACKSON AND BUBBLES" BY ITS NEW AND CORRECT NAME, "THE DECADENT MOOR." THANK YOU.

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT I BRING TO YOUR COLLECTIVE ATTENTION THAT PLAGUE IS UPON US. WE HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, AND OUR CONSCIENCES SHOULD ALL BE CLEAR. PLEASE MAKE CERTAIN YOU ARE IMMUNOLOGICALLY-COMPLIANT WITH FOURTH MILLENIUM IMMUNITY PROTOCOLS. THIS SHOULD INCLUDE THE GREAT WHITE SHARK PHENOTYPE. IF YOU ARE UNCERTAIN IF YOU HAVE THE GREAT WORK SHARK PHENOTYPE, USE YOUR GEN-PEN UNDER THE IMMUNO-FLUORESCE MODE. PURPLE MEANS COMPLIANCY. IF YOU ARE NOT IMMUNO-COMPLIANT, PLEASE CONTACT THE DEPARTMENT OF PLAGUE IMMEDIATELY. SEND VIRTUAL MAIL ATTENTION P_____________. SHE WILL HAVE YOUR IMMUNO-UPGRADE WHITEGLOVED TO YOU INSTANTER.

PLAGUE SEASON MEANS THAT THE FEBRILE WILL BE ALLOWED GREATER LATITUDE. MANY ACTIVITIES MAY NOW BE BEGUN IN EARNEST THAT WERE RESTRICTED BEFORE. WHAT WAS RESTRICTED TO PHANTASM OR SPECTRE SIMULATION MAY NOW BE PERFORMED IN THE LIGHT OF DAY AND EXCUSED AS PLAGUE FEBRILITY. LET THE WALKING HALLUCINATIONS BEGIN.

LORD BURROUGHS TELLS ME HE HAS BEEN CONSULTING WITH THE AKASHICS AND THAT WE HAVE MADE ASTONISHING BREAKTHROUGHS IN READING AND IMPORTING AKASHIC CODE IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS. THE EGYPTIAN BOOK OF THE DEAD HAS BEEN ENORMOUSLY HELPFUL IN THIS REGARD, AND THIS WAS WORK PIONEERED BY LORD BURROUGHS HIMSELF. HE HAS PROVEN AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT HE DESERVES OUR ILLIMITABLE ESTEEM. HE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST FALLEN ANGELS I HAVE EVER HAD THE FORTUNE TO MEET, AND TO WORK ALONGSIDE HIM IS A GREAT HONOUR.

RETEMPORALIZING EXTINCT ANIMAL SPECIES MAY NOW BE GRADUALLY STEPPED-UP, BUT PLEASE SHOW DISCRETION AND RESTRAINT, PEOPLE! AND WE HAVE ENOUGH DODOS TO LAST US SEVERAL AVATARS HERE, SO PLEASE ENOUGH OF THAT. TO THE INDIVIDUAL WHO VIRTUAL MAILED ME ASKING ABOUT RETEMPORALIZING SEVERAL DINOSAUR SPECIES, I REFER YOU TO YOUR ULTRANATURAL COMPATIBILITY SOFTWARE, WHICH WILL BREAK THIS DOWN FOR YOU IN SPREADSHEET FORM. AND I DO HOPE YOU WERE JOKING ABOUT THE BABY ALLOSAURUS. THE MEGALODON THAT ATE THE BOATING PARTY LAST SUMMER WAS ENOUGH RECODING WORK. AND OF COURSE IT DIED. THAT ISN'T EVEN SALT WATER PEOPLE. SO OF COURSE IT WAS DISSECTED AND THE DISSECTION CHARTS GOT PUBLISHED. ARE YOU GETTING AN IMAGE HERE OF HOW MUCH WORK YOU ARE MAKING FOR US WHEN YOU DO THESE THINGS WITHOUT CLEARING THEM THROUGH CORP?

GOD I SOUND LIKE A FUCKING BUREAUCRATIC CUNT HERE. I SOUND LIKE MY FUCKING MOTHER. I APOLOGIZE PEOPLE BUT AS I SAID WAR IS HIERARCHICAL.

IN CLOSING, I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU THE GREATEST NEWS.

ARTHUR RIMBAUD HAS BEEN RETEMPORALIZED AND FULLY MATERIALIZED. HE IS AMONG US ALREADY, AND WILL BE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE US!

I STRUGGLE TO PUT THESE WORDS TO VIRTUAL MAIL, SO GREAT MY JOY....

IT WAS IN THE CHAMBER OF LAUGHING WATERS, THAT RIDICULOUS IMPERIAL GROTTO WITH THE GIANT ORGAN AND THE COMPLEX SERIES OF ALTERNATING FOUNTAINS. THE ONE WITH ALL THE ALCOVE NICHES USED AS AN OSSUARIAL, THE SKELETONS ALL ABOUT IN GLASS AND SOME POSED IN ALLEGORIES WITH PAINTED BACKDROPS. I'M SURE YOU KNOW THE ONE I MEAN.

JEAN GENET ASSISTED IN HIS REBIRTH. I FELT SO PRIVILEGED TO BE PRESENT, AND I ASSISTED GENET IN BRINGING ABOUT THIS REBIRTH. (GENET IS STILL NOT SPEAKING FOR THOSE COMRADES COMPLAINING ABOUT VIRTUAL MAILS UNANSWERED.) HE IS BELIEVED TO BE IN A PHANTASMAL RECONNAISANCE MODE OF EXISTENCE, BUT TRUST US AND LEAVE HIM TO HIS DOINGS. THIS STATE IS ANALOGOUS TO THE ABORIGINAL DREAMTIME, WHERE THE NON-LINEARITY OF TIME IS APPREHENDED WITHOUT THE NEED FOR THE TECHNOLOGY SOME OF US ARE USING TO ACHIEVE THESE SAME RESULTS. HE HAS BEEN HELPING THE CAUSE IMMEASURABLY. I HAVE SEEN HIM ALTER THE GENOME OF EVERY ANIMAL IN A ROOM, HUMAN AND OTHERWISE. DO NOT CONTACT HIM WITH TRIVIALITIES. BURROUGHS HAS STATED THAT GENET IS TO BE ALLOWED TO PROCEED WITHOUT CONCERN FOR HIERARCHICAL PRECEDENCE OR POLICY. HIS CODE NAME IS "UNEDITED PROSE" FOR PURPOSES OF REFERENCE.

ARTHUR IS NOW MANIFESTED AS AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY BUT FULLY EMPOWERED. HE APPEARED NAKED, FLOATING IN A WOMB OF DARK MATTER. HE HAD AKASHIC CODE BURNING ON HIS FOREHEAD AND SEMEN DRIPPED FROM HIS COCK INTO THE FOUNTAIN BELOW WHICH IMMEDIATELY FLOWERED WITH IMAGES. GENET SMILED. THAT WAS FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER SEEN COMRADE G. DO THAT SINCE MANIFESTING AMONG OUR FORCES.

I HELD ARTHUR IN MY ARMS, PEOPLE. HE WAS PULSING LIKE A QUASAR AND HE GREW OWL HEADS AND SCRIBE HEADS AND HIEROGLYPHICS OOZED OUT OF HIS COCK INTO MY PALM.

I LAUGHED AND KISSED HIM ON THE MOUTH AND GENET LEVITATED HIM TO HIS BREAST.

THE BOY INSTANTLY GREW FROM A BABE TO WHAT SEEMED TO BE AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY TO ME AND PHANTOMS FORMED ALL ABOUT HIM. HE ENCASED GENET AND ME IN SOME FORM OF ECTOPLASMIC AFTERBIRTH BUT I LICKED IT AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.

GENET AND I WERE BOTH SMILING (I WAS LAUGHING) AS THE BOY READ OUR MINDS AND CAME BETWEEN US.

EACH OF US TOOK ONE OF HIS HANDS AND HE CONCENTRATED AND HE WAS INSTANTLY DRESSED IMMACULATELY. HE LOOKED QUITE THE PRINCELING.

HE SPEAKS AKASHIC TO PERFECTION.

THE EMPEROR WILL BE LOOKING TO DESTROY HIM, SO I NEEDN'T TELL YOU, COMRADES, HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT YOU MENTALLY EFFACE ALL THOUGHTS OF HIM UPON CLOSE OF READING THIS VIRTUAL MAIL.

HE WILL NO DOUBT ENLIST THE AID OF MANY OF YOU IN HIS FUTURE BATTLES. PLEASE DO NOT SEEK TO SIPHON ENERGY FROM A.R. HE CAN CHIMERIZE AND VAPORIZE ANYONE IN A MATTER OF HALF-SECONDS, SO I ADVISE AGAINST ANY SUCH STRATAGEMS. IF HE DOES ENLIST YOU IN ANY BATTLES, BE SURE TO PUT MINDLOCK IN PLACE TO MINIMIZE "MORPHBURN."

WE ARE ECSTATIC CREATURES AND WE SHALL MAKE ALL OF TIME ECSTATIC.

FUCK UP THE PROSE OF TIME!

I SALUTE YOU IN YOUR COMRADESHIP AND REMAIN,


YOUR DUTIFUL, FUCKED-UP MARGRAVINE A_____________________