neither of which is pleasant.
I would prefer to just have poetry get like 37 seconds a day, rather than an embarrassing token appreciation month once a year.
Even though that only adds up to like a few hours for the entire year, it somehow seems less embarrassing...the 37 seconds.
Because we could fit it in while we are brushing or teeth or something.
Okay, I know serious dentists tell you to spend a great dealer longer than that brushing your teeth each time, but let's get real.
Goodbye, National Poetry Month.
The free ride ends today.
May is coming and kicking your ass back to the trailer park tomorrow.
2 comments:
37 seconds seems about right for brushing your teeth actually. 9 1/4 seconds for each quadrant. overbrushing can damage the gums and lead to gingivitis. (so they tell me.)
Hi Matt.
The sanctimoniousness of dentists, and especially dental hygienists, kills me.
Especially when I notice how they change their "doxology of dentition" every few years.
I seriously had one tell me I was being completely unrealistic if I was not standing there brushing my teeth for like five or six minutes each time I did it....that this was something I had to commit to seriously, as though it were a reality show where one could miss the exit of an important character if one chose to actually say, go out and meet friends at Panera and talk about the end of western civilization or some twaddle like that instead of standing in front of a mirror with a watch set on the counter brusha brusha brushing...
brushing all the gums away....
I remember when I was so proud when I figured out how the phrase "long in the tooth" came about.
I asked the hygienist and she confirmed.
I think I should have received one of those cheap-ass, tiny lollipops they clearly make at the same factory where they make the alcohol mixers.
My favorite "reward" lollipops are pina colada and strawberry daiquiri.
And they wonder where we get all these alcoholics...
IT'S THE LOLLIPOP BASKET, PEOPLE!!!
blame it on your dentist, doctor or any other "rewards-oriented" professional.
They made your kid a drunk.
They are the reason he wore pyjamas to grandma Eunice's funeral.
It's not your fault.
It's the dentist's.
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