"No Fats, No Fems, No Fuglies" (Continuation)

Here is the penultimate part of my gay fairy tale.

I only have one last section to write to complete what will be a first draft, obviously.

I'll just include the addition.

If you are interested in reading the rest of the story to this point, just search blog for the title of the story above.

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Buffed Leather was wearing a muzzle.

He already had this in his embarrassingly complete collection of S&M gear, but it had only been used on his submissives before, never on Buffed himself.

It looked ridiculous, but he wasn't taking any chances with any accidental outbursts, since he knew the Tranny Fairy's ever-listening ears were certainly trained on him at this point, waiting for that last slip-up to turn him into the piece de resistance at one of her celebrated forest feasts.

He would remove it momentarily when asked questions by Aki or Wole, then immediately replace it.

He turned several mirrors to face the walls upon which they hung. Vain as he was, he could not bear to see how ridiculous he looked.

"What a slave to fear," he thought with self-hatred.

It was on a certain Saturday when all of the Enchanted Forest was celebrating a certain Centaur's birthday, that Buffed made his move.

He had gotten word that The Tranny Fairy was to make an appearance at a Lupercalian sort of festival slash car sale which was occurring in the Vale of Eldritch Happenings.

For those of you who don't remember the old Lupercalia festivities, just think of a very gay Renaissance Faire type environment. But now add real unicorns, witches, fairies, sprites, rocs, cyclops...

Okay, you get the idea.

Apparently, The Tranny Fairy would show up to work the car show part of the celebration.

She liked to pose on the hoods of cars with a finger of one gloved hand stuck in her mouth.

Like any Tranny Fairy, she had a partiality for tiaras and the paparazzi treatment.

"Probably dents the hoods of the merchandise," Buff snickered.

"Probably only let her work the F350s," Buff giggled.

He told lies to his four lovers who had just gotten high and were eating peanut butter with their fingers. They were sticking their fingers in each other's mouths and licking them. They were all bareass naked and giggling on the kitchen floor.

BuffedLeather45 left his cottage fully prepared for all out war.

He hoped it would not be the last time he got to enjoy a vision like what he had just seen in the kitchen.

But it did help to "stiffen his resolve."

He climbed into his expensive gay cliche and zoomed off towards the Final Battle.

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Buffed had been in the crowd at the ANNUAL ELDRITCH SUPERNATURALTHON AND AUTO SHOW stalking his prey for approximately forty-five minutes.

He was wearing Vuarnet and eating churros to try to blend. He would never normally eat churros.

He felt like vomiting from the churros but realized war required sacrifices.

He had endured the nauseating sight of The Tranny Fairy being indulged by fans, posing for pictures with every type of inhuman and half-human beast imaginable.

And the occasional human tranny-chaser sought out her attention. These always seemed to have long stringy greasy hair and look like truckers five days out.

BuffedLeather45 could actually feel his adrenals pumping out hot flush hormones atop his kidneys like little devious acorns.

When he saw The Tranny Fairy excuse herself and remove her Nokia phone, the acorns went into overdrive.

She waved off some friends and began wandering off to a private area of the forest to take a call.

Buffed wondered why somebody with telepathic powers and powers of near omniscience would need something as ridiculous as a cell phone, but the simple answer was the Tranny Fair was addicted to the different cell phone covers you could use to accesssorize.

From rhinestones to Hello Kitty, she was in love with these. No self-respecting Tranny Fairy believes there is such a thing as over-accessorizing.

As she was talking into her design-overkill and fabu cell phone, with her back turned, Buffed saw his chance.

She was standing in an open forest glade and far out of earshot.

She seemed very distracted by the call, so he figured that was Number One in her pink world.

Buffed, looking very much like Hannibal Lecter with the muzzle still on his face, dashed towards The Tranny Fairy, whose back was turned to him. He had seen when she had so indiscreetly set her Wand down upon a rotted log.

And he screamed out three times as he ran at her now: "Stanley Medvidovich! Stanley Medvidovich! Stanley Medvidovich!"

Then he added "You bitch!" just for good measure, as he grabbed hold of her psychedelic sixties-style hot pants and yanked them straight to the forest floor.

The Tranny Fairy screamed and threw her Nokia directly at Buffed's head, but he was already yanking at the pretty pink Victoria's secret undies that with the scalloped trim that lay below.

And down they went to the forest floor.

Right over her ruby-red slippers.

And Buffed's heart was soaring upwards as he saw it.

And down down down his heart went again as he realized what utter failure really is.

A rhinestone chastity belt enclosed another pair of identical pink undies.

The Tranny Fairy clapped her hands then and Buffed flew backwards against a tree and this time instead of ivy the ancient tree awoke and reached out it two very long arm branches and held him imprisoned against its trunk.

The Tranny Fairy took this opportunity to repanty and put her hot pants back on.

"Well, deja fucking vu!" the Tranny Fairy said as she picked up her Nokia.

"Let me call you back in a few. Troll attack here," she said in a rather blase voice to the creature or person on the other end.

"No, I'm fine," she assured and then made some kissy noises and snapped the phone shut.

Buffed felt his adrenals go from overdrive to hyperdrive now as he watched her walk over to her Dildo Wand and pick it up.

She approached him then and just stared a moment. Then she smiled. Broadly.

The smile of the Victor.

"Well, that went off just fabulously. Didn't it just?"

She draw one of her long finger purple manicured nails across his neck in a playful manner.

"I didn't do it three times. This has nothing to do with gratitude to them."

"You are correct, Sir," she said in a catlike purr.

"I think I am going to..." she began.

The Tranny Fairy paused and smiled again.

"Going to what. You have no rights. All I did was say your name and pull down your pants. I'm sure you like that most of the time!"

Buffed was hysterical. He hated the shrill sound of his own voice.

"I'm going to give you a little nap now. I'm going to give you a little dream. I'm sending you home. Back to your lovers. Have a pleasant sleep, my fifth little troll."

And she placed one purple fingernail directly against his forehead.

Buffed looked upwards and saw the blue sky turning white.

It was turning white and swirling in a clockwise direction.

He closed his eyes and felt himself flying.

He heard the Tranny Fairy signing "Sweet Dreams" in a Patsy Cline tranny voice.

And then it was all forgotten.

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The Tranny Fairy had indeed restored Buffed to his own bed, where he lay now in a deep sleep surrounded by his four troll lovers.

Because he was unconcious, they took turns metamorphosing back and forth between beautiful GQ models and their actual troll selves.

They flickered off and on like flashing Christmas lights, to amuse each other.

They giggled and stared at the unconscious body of the man they had so unwillingly served for many months now.

"I wonder what dream she sent," Wole said.

Maurizio didn't say anything, because he was chewing the head off a live wren.

"Oh, I'm sure it's a good one," Aki said.

"Gentlemen, I think we can begin gathering up our things. I smell bacon, if you catch my drift," Stephen said in his English accent still.

The trolls giggled and rubbed their stomachs.

They rubbed both the perfect ones with art deco ab lines, and the distended green swollen ones covered with coarse hair.

Buffed began to snore loudly.

He was having his final dream.

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