Happy Mother's Day! (With Some Exceptions)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY*!

Mrs. Shakespeare
Mrs. Douglass
Mrs. Gottmundsdottir**
Mrs. Spielburg
Mrs. Lincoln
Mrs. King
Mrs. Mozart
Anne Meara
Mrs. Roosevelt
Mrs. Sedaris
Socrates' Mom
Mrs. Edison
Mrs. Shakur
Mrs. Proust
Mrs. Groening
Mrs. Einstein
Mrs. MacFarlane
Mrs. Colbert
Mrs. Seacrest




BITCH, YOU FUCKED UP...

Mrs. Dahmer
Mrs. Manson
Mrs. Bundy
Mrs. Cheney
Barbara Bush
Mrs. Trump
Mrs. Hitler
Mrs. Mussolini
Mrs. Capone
Mrs. Shore
Mrs. Bush***
Mrs. Khan****
Mrs. Caruso*****
Mrs. Limbaugh******




PLEASE TRY AGAIN. NO OFFENSE, BUT WE FEEL YOU CAN DO SLIGHTLY BETTER...IF YOU'RE A BARREN OLD HAG, NO HARD FEELINGS, YOU DID YOUR BEST...IT MIGHT NOT BE YOUR FAULT...

Mrs. Hilton
Mrs. Tequila
Mrs. Flava Flav
Mrs. Grace*******
Mrs. Cowell




YOU'VE GOT A GOLD MINE WITH THAT PINK FOOTBALL BETWEEN YOUR LEGS...GO FOR ANOTHER HAIL MARRY PASS AND WHELP A FEW MORE...YOUR OVARIES ARE LIKE THE DE BOERS MINES...

Mrs. Fanning
Mrs. Jonas
Mrs. Kardashian
Mrs. Culkin
Mrs. Spears
Mrs. Hanson*******



*wherever you are, dead or alive...

**Bjork's mother

***Whelper of G.B., not W....the one Barbara Bush arm wrestles at family gatherings.

****one of Genghis's dad's "baby mama" concubines

*****mother of David, not Enrico

******believed to be a species of extinct whale, whose extinction her son mocks on his nationally syndicated radio program

*******It's definitely time. Nobody is even gonna cover "Mmm Bop" so there won't be any more royalty checks. Get out the turkey baster if can't stand the man anymore.

********mother of Nancy, the psychotic