Horror Story

I spent the evening with Chas, watching d.v.r.'ed stuff and trash tabloidia t.v.. We share a fondness for the smarmier side of celebrity coverage and some of the nastier E! shows like Chelsea Lately.

Earlier I was looking for something in a medicine cabinet I never even open and saw some cologne in there I didn't recognize and thoughtlessly sprayed it on myself.

It took about twenty seconds for me to realize I smelled like cat piss.

Funny--it had smelled fine in the bottle.

No. Cat piss in heat. I mean it was really foul. I expected to hear all the cats of Steelton begin gathering below windows, yowling how hot I was making them.

So I ran to my "real" colognes and figured, use something else cheap, don't go with something nice because only cheap can battle cheap.

So I had some "Chaps" (yeah, I know) somebody misguided had given me once and I tried that.

But then I just smelled like "Chaps" and cat piss.

I changed my shirt and threw the shirt in the hamper but then I realized nothing less than a shower would do.

When I finally got back to the t.v. program we were watching somebody asked if the cat had begun spraying again in the house.

Who needs to rent horror movies.

I still didn't throw out the cologne.

I'm saving it in case I ever get really angry at someone.