Simple Solutions to Life's Perpetual Liffeyness #38: Flies in the Ointment

                    

Contrary to popular belief, flies in the ointment should NEVER be removed.

Caparison the fly in a tiny gold outfit. This will cause it to sink to the bottom of the ointment, down into the dregs.

As the fly descends in its golden finery, recite the Pater Noster backwards three times.

Thereafter, the ointment may be safely used.

Moreover, the ointment's efficacy will be thrice-enhanced.