what is culture

i was just in a sudsy tub and i was thinking how utterly possible it seemed to be that aliens might come to earth and find all our various forms of culture (like language, visual representation, music, etc.) utterly worthless.

and maybe these aliens would only be interested in communication that took place in trinkets. like maybe we would have to arrange objects the size of crackerjack prizes in patterns until we "clicked" on something they found acceptable. so instead of hamlet or pink floyd or francis bacon it would be little resin mickey mouses and jacks and doll hands and pokemons.

maybe these aliens decided abstraction is the enemy and hate all abstractions. so only material culture can represent ideas.

abstractions would clearly exist, but in a denialist sense...a denialist universe.

and those human who insisted on using language or sound or both to try to communicate would just be vaporized as really obnoxious entities by the aliens. eventually, we'd just become these plastic toy-utilizing entities with a new lexicon of plastic and resin.

it could happen.

i'm happy to say that i'd have a great edge on all of you, because i collect useless shit like this non-stop.

i'm sure i have all of the collected "trinket dickens" within about five feet of where i'm sitting.

i think the first book would start with that bunny rabbit lying on his back balancing a heart atop his feet. the cow in the bikini sunbathing under the palm tree is the beginning of a good novel to replace robbins.

producing new items might be problematic. but i suppose the human slaves could secretly use speech or "normal" communication amongst themselves.

the aliens would have probably inherited their technological advantages from those who used abstractions, but then abandoned them in a strange fit of pique.

then what if you invert the whole story?

the photographic negative of this?