"The Buddha Has a Pussy"

It's so obvious.
Your father probably told you this in anger
when he saw you playing with The Buddha
as a curious young boy or girl.
Even the ones at TARGET or PIER 1.
If you turn them over
you can often see the wide labia.
Sometimes he has a finger
up in there, playing,
or Buddha splays the lips beautifully
to show you the pearl,
the "little Buddha" in the canoe.
Maybe he was born that way
or maybe he had reconstructive surgery
in Thailand, like the others.
The surgery costs less than a Hyundai,
and can be accomplished in an afternoon.
Maybe he thought it more beatific
to split the banana lengthwise
and spread it with peanut butter
so that you could eat from it.
Maybe he thought it was funny,
the sounds you would make
licking the peanut butter,
and maybe he derives the same Bliss
you always got from doing this
to the family dog with peanut butter,
the confusion of the beast
trying to gum pleasure to death
when pleasure is sticky and escapes
constantly the gnashing of the teeth.
It wants you to suck its nutrition
not chew it. It's like a koan.
Except it's Buddha's pussy.

And there are 0 calories.