Iowa Pig

We heard there was an Iowa pig coming?

Even artists should do something to prepare. In such instances.

"Is it hard to find a john in a museum?"
was the question most of the students wanted to have answered when they were polled before the visit.

An Iowa pig might present certain sociopolitical prolems or dilemmas or trilemmas.

The Iowa pig will probably present these in a novel form.

For instance, the Iowa pig might clear its throat (and this might even be on NPR) and then intone:

"What eyes
of my own."

Well look, things could be worse.

The Iowa pig might attack you instead of making you laugh, or keep prodding you in your capitalist rib, also known as your funny bone.

Some people will protest as the Iowa pig arrives in a nondescript vehicle like a Honda Civic or a Hyundai Sonata.

"SAY SOMETHING
IN TRAFFIC, REALLY!"

posters held by the Anti-Iowa Pig protestors might read.


Or, contrarily...


"STARVING A SANDWICH
IS CHASTENESS..."

The Iowa pig will try to be responsive to these critics, but will collect its check at the end of the day and have difficulty remembering where it parked its nondescript car.

This is probably because it will be talking to an infatuated student or two, even while reckoning the ultimate meaninglessness of this very banter, and questioning the most basic tenets of Iowanism.

It is, after all, a pig.

Not plagued by allegiances to Iowa.

Or any other slaughterhouse.

It understands Oskar Mayer wieners the way it understands Das Kapital.

There is a time for Babe and there is a time for Weltschmerz seasoned with Schadenfreude.

Every Iowa pig gets fed this at the first trough.

And they never forget.

It means as much to them as the word Norton.

"Norton" is their "Rosebud."