a minor inconvenience

i told you not to step on the wooly caterpillar as we were unloading the groceries from the car this afternoon. he was on the walkway to the door by the lavendar. orange and black like halloween all bristly and tiny. i don't know how i knew it was a he. but felt somehow sure. less than half the size of my pinkie. he had a lot of fucking wool on him and that just gave me anxiety about about bills... my adrenal glands started spitting on top of my kidneys, i could feel that hot flush (even men can have a little period) because you know what that means. about this coming winter. if he's all wooly and thick.

a little retarded toothbrush. doomsayer.

i moved him from the walkway with a deposit slip from the bank and each time i tried to scoop him, he gyrated slowly and seemingly painful, as though he were sonny von bulow in a coma or that woman in the chronic vegetative state they dehydrated to death and pissed off the catholics and the pope.

pretty.

i got him into the lavendar clump.

do you remember how birdlike she looked.

before they disconnected her?

the way she held her hands curled inwards.

her eyes were like a robin's.

people broke into her hospital room to try to hydrate her.

i enjoy the catholic channel.

last night i was eating this t.v. dinner in bed and they showed this foetus's tiny hand pointing up to heaven inside a larger hand holding it.

and i was eating turkey.

and the camera panned down and then you realized this was a severed foetus arm an adult was holding in his or her palm.

it was a poster.

i nearly puked.

and then you could read the written message over the image.

and the narrator talked about d&c babies and how the head and arm had been removed during the procedure at 28 weeks.

they said the baby's name. it was david.

i suppose i should have felt some irony in eating the turkey then.

a wooly caterpillar fucked my mind.

if you didn't want to know this blame the wooly caterpillar.

i know i do.

the ocean of things you don't want to know floating you right this moment.

everyone knows how much that sucks.

everyone knows how wonderful that is.