Sissy Spacek to Play Lorine Niedecker in Biopic

Sissy Spacek is lined up to play American poet Lorine Niedecker in a forthcoming biopic titled Life by Water.

Finnish-born director Karel Wialka says he was impressed with Spacek's performance as the mother of actress Charlize Theron's character in the movie North Country, which he had only seen recently, and made the overture.

Spacek was delighted and the director was pleasantly surprised to find Niedecker was one of Spacek's "lifetime literary loves."

Shooting begins in January, 2010.




BELIEVABLE LIES


Why is this lie believable?


1. Sissy Spacek does sort of look like Niedecker.

2. Poets love to believe that Hollywood will eventually get around to noticing all of them.

3. Karel Wialka is a dumb enough improvisation to sound like a director's name.

4. Life by Water is the sappy sort of title Hollywood (or a sappy indie director) would give the pic.

5. Niedecker has been dead long enough that somebody can exploit her without paying anybody much of anything.


Why is this lie unbelievable?


1. Sissy Spacek is too old to be in movies anymore. If she were a man, the situation might be different.

2. Lorine Niedecker didn't go anywhere or do anything but write some occasionally great poetry and suffer and occasionally giggle. This would make a silly movie.

3. I didn't mention a dragonfly-on-a-misty-lake-tiny boat-with-Niedecker-sitting-in- it death scene.

4. Charlize Theron would play Niedecker as she has probably already stepped over the "classic beauty to crone" precipice, which is somewhere around 38 according to Hollywood.

5. Directors are not born in Finland.



If you believed this lie upon first reading, SHAME on you. You are a naive soul and should be cudgeled mercilessly all the days of your life.

If you did NOT believe this lie, SHAME on you. You are a hardened cynical bastard or bitch who begrudges poets their ounce of posthumous microfame.