Hello, Craig Conley

I just felt like using this time to say Hello to Craig Conley.

I thought of several different ways of saying it.

I'm not sure they are very imaginative.


     Hello, Craig Conley!

Hey bud!
Sup?
Dude! Where ya been?
Salutations and all that jive.
Is that a monkey powering your Haitian rum-wheel, or are you just glad to see me?
Nothing ventured, nothing pained.
How much for the albino crocodile?
Does your Mother know?
Why did you do that thing to the pumpkin pie?
Hi.
(to third party watching) Do you really think your presence in this elevator is warranted...or even legal?
I left the kickback in the usual place.
Why did those Mormons go in your front door and never come back out?
The thought process says MOOOOOO!
I kick it and something like it goes back in the closet.
Is this working for you?
Oh, I'm sorry. I was actually talking to myself there.
I think the PEANUTS characters might actually outlast Beethoven.
Pathetic.
What did you mean by "the cat drinking milk part is iffy?"
"Don't Pay the Ferryman" is not a good song.
Why do you think Bryan Ferry sways so much?
You could write a book about things that sway.
You would call the book Things that Sway.
Or possibly SWAYBACK.
This would have Beckettian overtones.
Or maybe go a tad Seussian: I Feel Swayed to Say...
Make it a book about people in transition, between thoughts.
People saying things they would like to think, but hesitate to do.
The Tra La universe.
I live there.
A universe of vacillating people, vacillating thoughts, is exciting!
I would buy the book.
But I would buy it on ABE.
Being poor in America is now officially a vocation.
Or is it a calling?
Spiritual overtones add color.
Sup?
I think it's funny that there's an ap called GREASEMONKEY.
When you watch Grease, do you find yourself craving more hunger?
I know I do.
Urban Cowboy similarly leads to an urge for reincarnation.
Debra Winger, please say Hello to Craig.
We know you're not busy.
Hello Craig!
Is it okay this is not a poem?
Is it okay if it is?
I don't think many serial killers said "okey-doke" or "okey-dokey."
This might be a good "anti-serial killer" test.
The "okey-dokey" test.
I can't imagine Hannibal Lecter saying "okey-doke."
But he's imaginary.
Okay, yes I can.
If he said it ironically.
I am saying Hello to you.
But not really ironically.
Some people exist only as ironic particles.
It could be that the "quantum secret" to the universe is actually irony.
I mean if you talk about Heisenberg or Schrodinger.
But we can only talk about our universe, the way we can only talk about our house.
But we talk about the neighbors anyway.
That is the shoddier form of physics practiced by most Americans. Some doctors too.
You get my drift.
You get my draftiness.
Hello, says the Haunted House.
They usually do.