Shhhh!

1. I have a secret.

2. People were only sent here to fuck with the idea of people, which is a relatively new invention anyway. I mean. Like the concept of the individual person.

3. You can't sit there.

4. Adding color instead of content is one way to conduct all your human relationships.

5. Some doctors, some novelists and politicians even do this.

5a. Some lovers do this.

6. Your lover or patient could be dying, but if you keep adding color you will probably look blameless from the outside.

6a. You might be dying and screaming at your lover, but if they keep adding color you may be fooled into thinking this is a satisfactory response and eventually just quieten down and die.

7. Rural Pennsylvania can teach you a lot about the genius of boredom.

8. You can do what you want with people.

9. Of course, they mind. But it's the minding that's the funny part because they they have to get excited and talk, and you don't.

10. I believe it's called "power" in other quadrants, but this is art so shut the fuck up.

11. I have a secret. Did I say that already?

12. I found AIDS to be "aesthetically limiting."

13. I'm just a girl.

14. Shhhhh! The museum is trying to think.

15. Sometimes when I walk past a museum I giggle but that's because there are no shop windows in front.

16. If an idea is dumb, it's probably underutilized. Dumb ideas make the best weapons.

17. A sucker is a vacuum cleaner.

18. Infinitely reproducible just like a pill popping poem.

19. The absence of value is what makes it worthwhile. Promiscuous sex or eating when you're not hungry.

20. I thought the telephone was divine.

21. If I could have married the telephone, I would have.

22. My thoughts on gay marriage are this: if you are going to have a gay marriage, you should marry a man.

23. My thoughts on straight marriage are this: if you are going to have a straight marriage, you should marry a house.

24. Please don't call me homophobic. I don't like big words.

25. When I was alive, it really wasn't all that different.

26. I would have been as happy if it were shoes instead of paintings.

27. The only difference between Andrew Carnegie and myself is that he's dead then and I'm dead now.

28. I pretented to find human self-destruction insteresting, but you probably know better.

29. What color is human destruction?

30. You see what I'm saying?

31. When the prettier ones die, there is a chance to apply color.

32. I met Saul Bellow once. I thought he had come to fix the furnace.

33. Quantity is the only funny value.

34. Quality is the only pathetic value.

35. Sometimes I wish I could exploit people in ways that are truly destructive, but this always leads to sentences with complicated grammar, and I'm so not about complicated grammar.

36. When I died, I thought it felt like a wet towel.

37. When I was dying, I realized absolutely nothing. It was such a relief.

38. Monotony is a form of religion.

39. In that sense, I guess I was religious.

40. My brother makes art using chicken claws that he puts in the freezer. He uses them to apply paint. He keeps the old name: WARHOLA.

41. I'm sorry I missed Mika. He's pretty.

42. If you suck my fingernails, you willl get a dopamine high. Even now. Dead.

43. I think I identify most strongly with Goya, although he stayed in the house too much.

44. I'm proud that I toned down the drama queen. Goya had a problem with that.

45. All my art is deaf. That's one way I'm like Goya.

46. When Valerie shot me, I thought she was joking about being serious.

47. When Valerie shot me, I wanted to silkscreen the ceiling.

48. Why do people get so intense about their art? Is it the ownership thing?

49. I'd rather fight over a coat than a painting.

50. It's not that I'm not sexually attracted to men. It's just that it involves asking so many things.

51. Why does anyone ask anything?

52. Wasn't mylar fabulous?

53. Imagine a cemetery covered in snow, in the dead of winter, and all these silver mylar balloons tied, one to each tombstone, catching the sunlight.

54. The thing is you never now if anything is ever really over because usually nothing is ever really over.

55. Except maybe cooking.

56. I wanted to do a gallery show of burnt cookies and invite everyone I hated.

57. I didn't really hate anyone.

58. But you get the idea.

59. I wanted to film them eating the burnt cookies.

60. And then I would apologize and say we had nothing to drink, not even water.

61. Is the world still full of things people call beautiful? I wouldn't know. I'm not there.

62. The wrong color made me happy. In a painting or a person.

63. I heard they put some of my Flower pictures in hospitals.

64. I like to imagine the terminal patients looking at them.

65. Well, I used to.

66. Okay. I'm lying.

67. I liked money. Money made sense to me.

68. It was when I stopped caring that I began to believe in work.

69. Not "the work."

70. That's a load of shit.

71. I collected people. People collected me. It appeared sloppy, but it became simpler because the absence of recognition was soon taken for granted.

72. I think that's what Heaven must be like...I mean if all that God stuff is true...the absence of recognition. Over and over.

73. I could imagine an eternity like that.

74. People just saying "Oh yeah, right!" over and over. Lying to each other's face. Pretending to recognize one another.

75. And angels lying around like dogs on the couches.

76. I feel inspired.

77. I'm going to go take a nap now.





Art: Thomas Hawk. Thank You.