Silesius of Rhodes

While Silesius of Rhodes is not as celebrated as the mystic Angelus Silesius, to my mind he is also a mystic very much worth attending to.

Here are some of my favorite quotes of his.

"I lifted the entire city of Rhodes in a dream last night. I believe it was so light because everyone else was also asleep. I tried doing the same thing upon awakening, and had trouble just getting my bed three inches off the floor."

"Why should birds not sing while they drop dung? It is proof that nature sanctions the works of poets."

"A cat that does not stare is retarded. A dog that does not look away is a dullard. A man that does not pretend to do neither should be put to work as a rat-catcher or a scrofula-scraper."

"I am the Lord's potsherd and you are the Lord's ass. Shall we get in a scrape?"

"Nothing is as nothing does."

"Philosophy is the devil's conch shell. Religion is the devil's soft couch. A commited relationship is the devil's nightmare."

"Being mystical is so tiring that sometimes I find it a great mystery why the clearly "mystically challenged" (like L______) continue."

"It was proven to me once (by an unusual rain) that lobsters can live in clouds. Only then did I believe in monasteries."

"That my big toe is not my little toe is proof that God is all-knowing."

"God stands in the middle of human grammar with His hands on His Hips."

"Dogma is superior to Catechisma, because Dogma will come if it is called."

"Hell hath a doorbell. Heaven hath not."

"Mice believe rats are pedants. Rats believe mice are pococurantes."

"A fish may believe it can walk. A monk may believe he can heal the sick. But a nun knows she can wallop."

"Walking a dog is halfway to promoting the Devil's intercourse."

"Clouds rarely concern themselves about the weather. Poems rarely concern themselves with poets. The dead rarely complain about death. Vanity results from a great misunderstanding of the principle of causality."

"Is my frock stained or have I sweetened it? Only if I tell you if this is ice cream or bird shit will you know whether to lick my offered finger."

"Hell is too hot for sex. Heaven is too cold for chess. Or vice versa. I forget."

"I love every one of you as much as I loved the chilblain last November gave me. I addressed it with love every day, and beseeched it to seek its own solace and liberty. I cajoled and pled. I told it how unworthy of its company I was. All of this great love led to my toe being surgically excised by my Physician. I beweep the Divorce to this day. As I do with your departure now, Dear Reader. Sweet as a chilblain to me is your dear attention."

"God loves you. I love God. Therefore, we are related. If only grammatically.

So which of the following is logically warranted...

A)I love you. B) You love me C) Both A and B D) None of the Prevous Answers
E) What's love got to do wit it F) A through E are correct G) Scholasticism is a foul, foul practice H) The armpits of a man smell worse than the armpits of a woman, unless that woman is a particularly ugly woman I) The Moon is inhabited by winged monkeys who play chess exceedingly well J) D, G and I are correct K) I forget the question L) Dogs smell much worse than cats when they get wet M) Yes N) Maybe but probably not O) I dated her, but that' not my child P) She probably is a witch and should be burned at the stake Q) Both O and P are correct R) This itch in my groin is all that witch's doing S) Only God can make a shrew T) Trick question--the answer is given in the first few moments of the Afterlife