Today Was the Greatest Day

Today I thought about a suicide taking it all back in a novel. Today I thought about door buzzers being randomly reassigned in a fluke. Today I thought about voles in plastic tubes getting angry in documentaries. Today I thought how neat that carnivorous deer exist. Take that, Buddha! Today I thought about calling you. Today I thought better. Today I asked myself what do dust bunnies really want from us?
Today I thought the Bermuda Triangle has nothing on you. Seriously. Today I thought somebody on the street could tell I am impersonating myself. It made me half want to run them over. For seeing through. Today I thought what if the universe really ends someday? Today I knew the universe probably has a secret "anti-ending" strategy in place. Today I thought I am nothing like the universe. Today I thought you would hate this poem because it's so kindergarten. Today I thought Fuck You in advance. Like protective camouflage. Today I thought "Wow, I can spell camouflage."
Today I thought "No, I really mean it. Fuck you." Today I thought "Who are you to judge my feelings...what is this Group or something?" while I was at the drive-thru at Wendy's. Today I thought my therapist is possibly in more trouble than I am. Today I felt guilty for empathizing with my therapist's wife, whom I do not know. Today I wanted to do a biopsy on something on my therapist's face. Today I felt ambiguous about gay marriage in Maine.
Today I thought the Bermuda Triangle is probably the greatest novelist ever.
Today I thought if I invited a young Japanese stranger to live in my house it might distract me enough to live. Today I tried to reach somebody in Japan and lure them to my house Today Japan hung up on me so I ate some tuna that was not "dolphin-free."
Today felt like a day of Victory. Today I was released from something or someone that probably doesn't exist. Today I realized that is the story of my life.
Today I wondered why my mother ever gave me that Bozo the Clown to beat up when I was four. Today I realized that is Kafka in a nutshell. Today I realized John Ashbery would be fired if he wrote fortune cookies for a living.