Saturday, January 23, 2010


"Hello. Who are you? Did you know we all live in a gay man's house? If we pay you handsomely, will you transport us to the nearest railway terminal? Shhhh! He's coming!"
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5 comments:

Rachel said...

oh my goodness, is that a McDonalds worker Hello Kitty? Or some sort of sports team Kitty? I have a halloween Kitty with a bat on her head seems to be from the same series. You made my sleepless night a little more chipper :)

January 23, 2010 4:32 AM
Rachel said...

sorry - can't stop looking. I love the little one with a mini pencil set in a cup? AHH, so cute, can't avert my eyes! If someone gave that to you as a gift they are a good soul. If you found that at a thrift store with the cellophane bag and all, you're my hero.

January 23, 2010 4:35 AM
William Keckler said...

I was at Wal-Mart when you commented lol.

I was buying potatoes for the microwave potato chip 'speriment.

You are having a nuit blanche as the French say...a white night.

Cool you have one too.

Yeah, it's Daniel working at McDonald's!

No, the Hello Kitty strange gift bag (and I don't dare touch the cellophane) is from the great Chinese restaurant down the street.

They sell them for like 1.25

I promise if they still have them the next time I go I will get you one and mail it to you.

I have a weird Snoopy one from there too if you want that.

I think that's still upstairs but I"m afraid Snoopy might have come loose from his glue mounting. You can still shake him into place. That's what I do.

They use real cheap glue that's very visible with all the toys when they glue them on the balsa base or whatever it is.

Snoopy's wearing a Chinese hat for some weird reason and standing by a palm tree that is just like the ones they used to put in the turtle bowls.

But I would prefer to send you a Hello Kitty (of course it's a pirated version. Sanrio didn't get shit from China).

I go by the Chinese restaurant to get to the thrift store so I'll try to stop next Friday.

Provided I don't get all agoraphobic again.

The owl is like a little automaton. He sings a weird song.

Sagolek is the IKEA troll, who briefly existed as a mascot for IKEA before they decided they don't do mascots.

The little trio of baskets with lids are made from sea grass and were in IKEA's catalogue about five years ago.

The one aisle at WAL-MART smelled like Nair.

The other aisle smelled like IKEA though, so I was happy.

The store was so clean!

I'm sure somebody is running a terror campaign on our Wal-Mart employees.

Because it used to get dirty and I was going to take cam pics and send them to Dirty Walmart.

Just because I love the pictures there.

Of dolls with jelly-smeared mouths sitting among bananas and such like child whores in Storyville.

They make a grocery store look so sordid.

That's a funny site.

xo

January 23, 2010 4:46 AM
Rachel said...

Haha, I've never heard of the dirty walmart site. Sounds way to addictive for me to visit. As it is I am writing a story, playing restaurant city, cleaning out my inbox and reading your blog. I sound like one of those type-a people but I'm really not. I just get easily distracted by internet connections. Wow, if you could hook me up with a knock off hello kitty that'd be amazing. You're already my hero so I'll have to promote you to my long distance gay husband or something. If Lee doesn't mind sharing you fictionally. lol. I do understand the agoraphobia though, so no worries if that happens. My aunt suffered from that often. She couldn't to the mailbox at times. It's scary. I had horrible anxiety as a teen and couldn't go to the mall or to restaurants for a few years. It passed though. I'm my sparkling self again :) Watch out post office, here I come!

January 23, 2010 9:48 PM
William Keckler said...

I'm all to happy to be your "long distance gay husband."

If you want, we can act out chilling scenes of heartbreak on bridges and in late night cafes.

Railway terminals. All night Wal-Mart. Paris. Rome. Harrisburg. Ono, PA.

I can remain "involuntarily distant" and send you "mixed messages" on a regular hourly basis.

I can leave "hopeful signs" and "retract invitations" without explanation or, seemingly, any guilt whatsoever.

But of course I'd be faking. Who could resist you?

Now that THAT gayness is over, I do have some good news lol.

I found another HELLO KITTY package (with natal cellophane!) upstairs.

She is unmoored from her cheap Chinese glue, but she stands in the right place and nobody will now unless they pick her up and shake the crap out of her. Of course, she has her pen and gift cup and this one says FENG SHUI on it.

The only difference is her pinafore or smock is a different color.

Is mine pink? Then yours is blue.
Is mine blue? Then yours is pink

I forget.

I will have it go out to you the next time Lee does a mailing (probably 3 or 4 days but then a couple for transit).

And I don't even have to venture out to the big bad world.

Except for the shrinks and other fairy tale creatures.

xo b

January 24, 2010 12:45 PM

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