I Don't Care if the Glaciers Melt

I don't care if the glaciers melt. Waterworld might be the next logical step. I like to pretend I'm Djuna Barnes in the all-night grocery store, where I like to read the backs of cans I'm not going to buy. I am the new American. "Do you realize you are talking to a tomato plant? But a tomato plant that cares.." I am Mrs Claire Page sending you this mail from my sick bed in the hospital. Please contact my lawyer Email: (bar-landonwatson@gala.net). I want to have an Awards Ceremony for the best Nigerian tragedy letters. Like the Oscars. I want to stand on the red carpet and say, "Who are you wearing?" to the debilitated Haitians hired to play Claire Page and the others. The Russian woman with the cancer that metastasized but who has faith that she can trust me with the 41 million dollars. Because she can. I will hunt her lifeless body down and dig it up. I will place her bones in 204 reliquary boxes. The pioneer dying of consumption on the Great Plains in 1841 staring at a grasshopper on his son's head. Was Twittering. As he lay dying. He was. We can't hear you. Louder. Add a drum loop.