I Heard Lee Screaming at His Computer While I Was Screaming at Mine Upstairs

He was on the second floor cursing and screaming at his slow computer (DSL) and I was on the third floor screaming and cursing and shaking my computer (dial up). Just like that commercial about the broken video games. So he went down to the first floor to watch the Olympics. So I came down here to get on this computer. And he's right. It's much worse than mine. I'm screaming louder and really feeling volcanically fucked up now. Why do I do that? Why was I drawn to this computer like a psycho to a Saw film? It's like a picture of every previous relationship in five seconds. What? That computer's really-fucked up? Nah. No way! Let me just see?....AAAAGGHHHHHH! Let me just sit here all day and see what happens to my fragile psyche....