I Just Feel All Gay Bars Should be Named RICKETS

SHELDON / DAY 15


Sheldon had been kicked out of RICKETS.

It was the fourth time in less than a month.

Usually, he tried to remain slightly less obnoxious until late in the evening, but this time he had been escorted out before 3 p.m.

He was kicking hunks of snow in the RICKETS parking lot.

Screaming at the retreating bouncer and cursing himself for not having worn a coat.

Snow blew down his ass crack, so he got in his Camaro and patched out like a retard.

Bruce remained inside. He was being chatted up by a Texan old enough to be his father who was just passing through town.

Bruce found The Texan's courtliness and accent intoxicating.

When the Texan asked Bruce to dance he couldn't resist.

They danced to a Lionel Ritchie song and Bruce fantasized about the Texan taking him to his car dealership and telling him to pick out any car he wanted.

But, he fantasized, he would keep his Gremlin.

Just to remember the lean years.



DAY 14 / BRUCE


Bruce was looking at his Richard Scarry books.

They always reminded him of certain orgies in which he had participated.

Richard Scarry always made Bruce horny.

It worked better than any gay porn.

In one corner of one drawing, you could see Richard Scarry had drawn a sling.

This reminded Bruce of the many garages he had been in which were not for cars.

Bruce squinted at the drawing.

Maybe it wasn't a sex sling.

Maybe it was a parachuting cat.

No, it was a bottompig sling.

It had to be.

That Richard Scarry is just insane, Bruce thought.

Bruce began rubbing his hand across the middle of his sweat pants.

The one fox reminded him of Sheldon.

Richard Scarry was Bruce's favorite gay writer.

Followed by Langston Hughes.