Mixed Company

That man had a tongue like a parrot's. It was deformed, hideous. He opened his mouth and it came out like that strange parody tongue the parrot has, that deformed penis in a parrot's mouth. I expected him to hold his claw out in front of him the way that autistic bird does. Right in the bar. This makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. It was like something they should have put in that Puppet Master movie. I mean it was worse than that puppet that spits out the leeches. And then my friend said, "He's fucking thexy!" How do you politely staple your stomach shut in mixed company? Is there a little Emily Post etiquette maneuver where you pretend to tie your shoes? Mixed company is fine. But interspecies can get iffy. I suppose it's always somebody's cuppa. Monster sex. Guys get so bored. It was a Tuesday night.