The New Tastykakes Taste Like Shit

I've been meaning to write to the Tastykakes people.

But I haven't found the time.

Being psychotic can keep one quite busy, actually.

In case you were wondering.

But puhleeze.

Tastykakes people.

That was one of my few guilty pleasures that didn't involve ex-cons or YouPorn.com

I liked the white ones with the chocolate stripe.

Not the chocolate ones with the white stripe.

But now they taste like shit.

They used to have this buttery icing type flavor.

Now they taste totally synthetic. Absolutely horrible. Not even like food really.

Even the texture is different. And the color.

There's a hint of yellow to the icing now. As if they added a wee bit of nicotine maybe.

Or rubbed some off some cigarette holder.

It's just gross.

I'll never buy your product again.

I told Lee to throw the rest of the box out unless he wanted them.

I don't think he wants them either.

I guess I should put them outside for the winter-lean animals, but will they really want something like that?

The skunks and other scavengers maybe.

I know the squirrels will show better taste.

Tastykakes people, don't even bother changing back because I won't know when you do.

You thought you were sneaky changing it like that and not saying anything.

Did you really think people wouldn't notice? And retch?

Unless I see a huge apology on the box, I'll never buy your product again.

I mean, I'll need to see it as I'm moving swiftly past your product down the aisle.

So it better be fluorescent orange and say "OLD & IMPROVED! NO LONGER TOXIC!"

Then maybe we can make up.

Maybe.