"O Fuck!" I Say Upon Reflection, Then Pause and Say Again, "Oh Fuck."

Hehe.

Kiddo you made me laugh and thanks for sending me a pic. I didn't see it yet but I read the subject line on the email.

I look forward to turning you into a Riley painting and seeing what you look like as op art.

Today I looked at yesterday's entry and immediately realized I spelled Bridget's name wrong.

Why was I confused yesterday and clear today?

I'll go back and correct the spelling now so I look smart. Retroactively smart.

I'm having one of those cloudy days. I knew it as soon as I woke up. I knew it going to sleep actually.

I'm having more problems with confusion and memory than I am with anxiety lately.

Either I'm seriously confused or my psychologist is playing head games with me.

That appointment should have been Tuesday. I think he got confused. I was confused last time but this time I think it was he.

I didn't make it to my real appointment. I only made it to my imaginary appointment yesterday.

And Lee said, "Pity. You could have actually made real films today."

Yesterday I made imaginary films.

I talked to myself everywhere because I thought I was talking into the camera. Well I was talking into the phone's camera. It just wasn't listening.

I liked what you said here. You made me laugh...

I dig your commentary on the fine retail establishments of America. Unfortunately, the closest IKEA to my home is in Atlanta, Georgia, so I rarely get to go. Although I hate venturing out in public, I can get lost in my own little world in the IKEA displays. Fuck everyone else.

My sister and I have always joked that K-Mart and Sears feel "dirty," like CBS. Definitely has to do with the lighting and the shitty typography on the price tags. It was hilarious to me that Sears and K-Mart are now owned by the same company after all those years my sister and I spent comparing the two. Wonder if they're affiliated with CBS in anyway. Just something I wonder about . . .

February 16, 2010 11:18 PM

Now you're making me think of two of my favorite "dirty" images...that blog they used to have online, "DIRTY WAL-MART," where people just posted nasty shit they saw in their Wal-Mart store, like a kid's lollipop matted in a doll's hair in one aisle, dust bunnies in between the appliances etc...

I don't know why it was so delicious.

That must have caused a huge Tianamen Square type backlash in the store, as my WAL-MART now looks cleaner than a death row in China. Maybe it is a death row in China.

It's sort of scary.

I like that it's so clean (but then I shop at 4 in the morning so...) but it's just a little scary.

Oh, who am I kidding? I like it. I feel like the Queen of England. They have cleaned the entire store for me and then vanished. WAL-MART at four a.m. is like the QE II. For headcases like me.

I should wear white gloves when I go and do the dirty finger test.

Imagine a bad Queen of England imitation here...

"My gloves are SPOTTED! Hello? Durty WAL-MART people? I just wiped this Burpee seed rack and the pinkie of the glove on my left hand is distinctly spotted! This WILL not do! Here, I was feeling quite appropriately regal, even a bit chuffed as you hoi polloi say, and now MY GLOVE is SPOTTED! Tood-a-loo, you shan't see my royal physiognomy in your squalid mercantile establishment again...No photographs. Goodbye."

The other one is the skit where Anthony Edwards plays Lady Di (imitating her in that frightening interview where her eyes kept bugging out in the most alarming way) and keeps talking about the commoners as "the durty people."

Yes, I will see if I can remember the series of magic transformations that turned a person into a Riley painting. I think I remember. If not I'll keep stumbling until I get there. It's a series of about twenty filters lol. But you have to do it in the right order darnit.

It was totally messing with my eyes on the screen. And then when I saved it, it was a tiny pic and I lost all the Bridget Riley magic.

Right now I have to go watch (God knows why!) a few episodes of The Bachelor Why oh why did I ever start watching this. We both knew Jake was an actor last season. So was Wes. We both KNEW Jake would be The Bachelor this season from the episode where he came back. Such bullshit.

And some of the gals are probably actresses too. The one all the girls hate. I can't even think of her name now. I can see her face in my mind's eye. She's not really that obnoxious to me. Those girls form such packs. The guys were the same way last season. Everybody hated Juan. Well, it was more that head case that The Soup had such fun with. He was a total date rapist. They ran that clip where he mauled Jillian quite a few times. I wonder if he realizes by now how creepy he is.

I realize how creepy I am. Why do some people not know that about themselves?

Embrace your creepiness. I envy some people's creepiness. Like Crispin Glover's.

Creepiness to die for.

Okay, I'm going to see what Rachel said then go watch these stupid dvr'ed shows. Lee said it's watch it or it gets deleted. I think I can get it down to less than an hour with fast forwarding and selectively editing the boring parts (most of it).

Does anybody really believe the relationships that come out of these shows are real????

They "win." They do the t.v. talk show tours. They look for other offers. "Husband" and "wife" shake hands and go their separate ways.

Yet I watch. I guess it's the fascinating hollowness of it all.

It makes beautiful people so much less appealing and I guess that's why I watch.

Some sort of little moral lesson that you're supposed to know by the time you're twenty-two I think.

Things take me longer.