Dear Dominatrix

               

Dear Mistress Letitia,

i respect you very much
as an artist

i wanted to make sure
i say that first

i'm sorry
i didn't tell you
about my credit card
on file getting canceled

i guess you found out
on thursday when ann
ran it through

she sounded really pissed
in the message on my cell phone

Mistress, i wanted you
to know though

i've had a lot
on my plate lately

i just realized
i'm doing it again
starting all my sentences
with "i"

and as i know
you told me
in our last session

"there is no 'i' in 'worm'"

i still remember how you punctuated
that with your riding crop

it's just i wanted
you to know my mother
died last thursday

and my son's

cleft palate operation
has left me momentarily

strapped (no pun intended ha)
and was just wondering
if you and ann could let
me slide til next month

but keep our biweekly
sessions in place for now

i think you're helping me
a lot with our work together
much more than any
of my other therapists really

i don't quite understand
why you hung up on me friday
when i was trying to explain
all this over the phone

but i guess i deserve
to have to type this all out
since i'm a horrible typist

and really hate typing

lastly, i should say
this email isn't some sort of ploy
to receive humiliation free
i mean i'm not trying to get you

to berate and belittle me horribly
in an email back (altho i'd
be lying if i didn't say
that would be nice)

i mean i'm really broke

which is why i'm writing you

but if this email
really pisses you off
feel free to call me
and tell me what you feel like
doing to me for this sort of

broke-ass whining and complaining
in the presence of my Mistress

Mistress Letitia,

thanks for letting me keep
the crab crackers
you used in our last session

did you really steal those
from red lobster or were you joking?

my balls still look like red lobsters
after that treatment

haha

well if you do call

please remember only between the hours
of eleven p.m. and seven a.m.

it's impt. to remember that

my wife is over the ovarian cancer
thing and is back to work

nights at UPS

so sunday through thursday

ONLY okay? sorry Mistress
for raising my voice there a little bit

i'm sure you will "address that"
in our next session

well hope to hear from you

Your favorite Human Ottoman

Herb






EMAIL AUTOREPLY FROM MISTRESS LETITIA


Dear Slave or Worm,

Mistress Letitia
is currently on vacation

enjoying the pastel colors
of several Caribbean islands.

She will return to the Dungeon
on Tuesday, August 17th

so kindly save all
Sniveling until then.

Toodles.

P.S. Slaves who send
more than one email

may find booking future appointments
with Mistress Letitia

extremely difficult!

X-D

That's me laughing
at all your fucking

boring pain.

But you know
I secretly love you.

You know who you are are!

Sometimes you catch

that "something extra"
in my eyes sometimes

during our sessions,

don't you?

hahahaha.

(I'm not talking about you, Herb.

Call Ann at the office ASAP.)


The rest of you

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Your Mistress